I have come to the conclusion that I have a decision to make. And that I need prayer for that.
At the beginning of DTS, I thought I knew what I wanted and what I was going to do afterward. And yet here I am questioning what I want for my life, and most importantly; what God wants for my life.
I am now noticing my serious F.O.M.O towards God's plan for me.
I just don't want to miss a single thing that he has planned for me, because I know that what he has for me is so wonderfully exciting and I can't bare the thought of missing out on account of my own fears and failures.
Before DTS, I had made plans to go to university after to study in the Education program at Trinity Western University (in BC, Canada). Until I heard about the S.B.S (school of biblical studies); a 9-month school focused on reading and understanding the Bible. By the end of the school, you will have read through the bible 7 times. The SBS is offered at the same base here in YWAM Amsterdam
Something sparked my interest, and I haven't really stopped considering it since the first week of DTS when it was first introduced.
I have prayed and prayed and prayed about it, and I haven't been able to come up with any clear answer for myself. And you know what, it might just be God saying 'you decide', and if I'm being honest the thought of deciding for myself is comforting, yet concerning.
Sometimes I just want someone else to do it for me, make my choices for me that is. I suppose it's the easy way out because if something goes wrong you have someone to blame for your misfortune. But on the other hand, it could be a beautiful sign that God trusts me and my choices, as that he will be with me wherever I go.
A few weeks ago I decided to move towards going to school, as a speaker had said that sometimes you just gotta take a step of faith and see where it goes.
And I haven't been feeling peace about it. And I don't really know why. Perhaps it's because I'm not home to register for courses and prepare for university life. Or that it's God trying to tell me to reconsider what I actually want to do.
And the worst part of this is that some days I'll be so fired up about being a teacher- and that'll push me towards going to school. Then to later find so many truths in the bible the next day during lecture- which stirs so much interest to continue to read the Bible intensely, and really get to know the word.
Now you're probably thinking that both options are good and that I can't really mess this up. And you're probably right.
But I just want to humbly ask for your prayers in this time of decision making.
Now, nothing is urgent- but I have begun the process of setting up my potential life for university, and I don't want to get buried too deep where it's not possible to change my plans, as I don't want to be a flake at the last second.
All I know is that I'm overwhelmed by my options, as I have been learning about how big God is, and that there's genuinely nothing that we can't do together.
So I'm here asking for your help. Please feel free to send me any impressions you get, or pictures God has for me.
Thank you for your prayers, and support in this.