Writing this blog post is like a kid wearing a t-shirt that's too big him; too much of a good thing.
I am pleased to announce that by the grace of God I was able to complete 3 months of outreach in India. And I can faithfully say that outreach for me was a growth spurt, and every once and awhile I had those charming growing pains everyone talks about. But you simply can't grow without experiencing the stretch marks.
On the night before we left for outreach, Jesus had been telling me to have patience, yet he phrased it
"Patience my bride."
And this floored me, as I had never heard God call me that before. I pondered what it meant to be the bride of Christ, and what I needed to be patient for.
Fast forward to a particular worship session in Deradune, India (our second location of outreach). I closed my eyes and saw a picture of rows and rows and rows of different wedding dresses. I asked Jesus what he was trying to say with this, and he began to explain:
"These are all of your wedding dresses, each day you receive a new one. And each wedding dress is equipped with everything that you will need for that particular day. Each dress is specially tailored for your body, each fits you like a glove."
Tears streamed down my face as God showed me the wedding dress I had for the day. It was the most beautiful wedding dress. It was a stunning Victorian gown, truly one of the most extravagant dresses I had ever seen.
I asked Jesus how to put it on, and I didn't really get much of a response which I was okay with. I figured that patience was the answer, so I held close the promise of receiving a wedding dress every morning and tried my best to process how I could put it on.
Fast forward to a particular worship night in Mumbai (our 3rd location of outreach)
I heard Jesus tell me to put my hands out, and that he wanted me to give him something. As I closed my eyes I saw a picture of a bag of wedding rings being poured over my hands. As this was happening, Jesus began to explain once again:
"Before you put on your dress, you make a commitment to your partner. You put on the engagement ring, then you put on the dress."
Jesus wanted me to commit to him. He wanted a life long covenant that was bound by a ring.
"Each morning I want you to renew your wedding vows with me, and a new ring will be placed on your finger."
And that was when I said I do to Jesus.
I proceeded to see a gold wedding ring on my left ring finger. It was a gold vine wrapped all the way around, each leaf was a diamond, and it gleamed beautifully. At this point, I had been crying for quite some time, as I had finally figured out how to put on the dress.
The vision continued, I was finally able to see myself in the dress. And I looked beautiful. I was running up the red-carpeted stairs of the church for the wedding. My hair was done, a veil clipped in, joy was washed all over my face as I knew my husband was waiting for me inside. And as I opened the doors the church I was met with the most glorious white flowers decorating every inch of the church, and white draped tool hung on every pew, there were gold beads that hung on the walls of the church and there was a filter of the glory of the Lord over the church as I stepped inside.
While I never saw his face, I knew Jesus was there waiting for me. We left the church and white doves flocked from the ground in celebration of our new marriage.
I opened my eyes and felt an overwhelming sense of joy, as I realized all Jesus wanted was my heart. I grew in humility in this, as this meant I had to make a public declaration that I needed Jesus with all my heart. I felt truly pursued for the first time, as the Lord was waiting for me in the church and I was his beloved bride.